Hi my friends!!
I’ve had quite the few weeks, needed to vent, thought about blogging everyday but wanted to give myself some time to cool down. Let me give you a life update, my lovely nonexistent blog audience. Last week the company I was working for, decided to drop a bomb on me and the two other people who worked in our tiny satellite office that they were closing the doors…effective immediately. W.T.F. I actually had been doing a trial to make sure I liked this new position I was up for. I was supposed to have a meeting wrapping up the trial that same day. I had been busting my ass and then this. Anyways, I was devastated but resentful more than anything. But as days kept passing, I was feeling more and more at peace. I made some GREAT connections and really, I met some wonderful people there, also got some major experience out of the gig. But it was a toxic environment, constantly giving me anxiety. I would keep myself up dissecting every little thing, because yes, this division of the company was just that petty. I felt like I was rushing for a sorority and no offense to anyone who was in a sorority in college…but that shit is just not my jam. I get having to kiss your boss’ ass, that’s life, but this place you were not allowed to have an varying opinion, you had to worship the higher ups, kiss their feet and agree with everything they decided. I have too strong of a personality to swallow that.
Thinking about that toxic environment led me to the realization that wow, maybe I was starting to turn like that. Getting irritated at every little thing, every email, eye rolls galore etc. That is not my personality, I would never want to be like those people. IDGAF how much money they have, it’s not worth becoming a selfish person for it. This place was just consuming my life and now I realize, this happened for a reason. The stars aligned and I got out of a toxic environment with toxic examples of leaders before I morphed into that completely. I was stressing out about minuscule shit that shouldn’t have any affect on my real life. My family, my relationships, my passions, that’s the real shit that matters. Not a workplace that at the end of the day, only cares about their spreadsheets, their numbers, their bonuses. In the grand scheme of things, my goal and Visar’s goal has always been to work for ourselves, be our own bosses. Now we just need to figure out how to get from Step A to Step B…suggestions welcome. 😉 I welcomely accept that I will most likely work for another agency doing the same thing, hey it’s good money. But I refuse to let myself turn into those people, refuse to work for a place that mainly consists of those people. I mean it when I say, good vibes only! MIC DROP!
Umm..I guess I did end up ranting a little bit, but hey, sometimes it’s a necessary step to move on.